Marriage / Personal Growth

Are you Negative Towards Changes?

Where I live there is three months of good weather. And if you if your lucky and additional 2-4 months of not horrible weather. These months are riddled with road closures, detours and slow traffic. It is a joke around here we have 9 months of weather and 3 months road construction.  How often in life do we face changes the road closures, detours and slow traffic. Things don’t go the way we plan or the plans we had fall through altogether? This happens in every aspect of our lives, in our marriages and/or our work. We can have a negative attitude towards change or we can make the best of it.


Weather is Fickle 

It late August, usually where I live the grass is long past dead, brown and crunchy is the norm. But today the yards look lush and green. It looks more like early may and the air felt more like early October. By the time I got done with my walk, it felt more like an August day.   The Sun was shining bright and warm through the clouds. I could tell it was going to be a fabulous day. 

Marriage Fitness with Mort Fertel

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The Bright Side

I heard a long time ago “look for the positives and you will see them look for the negatives and you will see them”. I decided a long time ago I was going to see the positives. Deciding when i was young I want to be the voice of inspiration. Long before I ever started my blog. Recently there has been a lot of changes happening in my life, some good some not so good. But all of them have given me a chance to respond to life’s ups and downs.

My Change

I’ve been walking I used to love to walk. I hate walking now, I hurt. Walked  every street in my town I think once upon a time then i got a car. Now I have a dog and he needs to go for walks. Even though I know it is good for me, I don’t like to walk.  Looking on the bright side is hard for this. The evidence of the benefits are not immediate. However the negatives are almost instantaneous. Yet if i want the positives to outweigh the negatives I have to keep walking.  Each day gets a little better. The week I started this project I could not move for the rest of the day. But to day even though i hurt I feel much more energized and I’m not hindered in moving because of the pain. My husband has been encouraging me by walking with me when he can. Because he walks with me the is a different dimension to our level of intimacy.

How are we Going to Respond to Life’s Changes?

I can honestly say that sometimes I have to convince myself to handle life’s ups and downs in a positive manor. Smiling is not always my first choice when difficulties come. And it is so much easier to say ” when life gives you lemons make lemonade” but it is not always so simple to do it. And Sometimes falls on a spouse to give our spouse encouragement during tough times. 

Trials and Tribulations

Sometimes as a spouse all you can do is pray for your spouse. And let them know. Pray for them to have strength to get through difficulties. We can choose to look at changes as if the trials and tribulations are just to make us feel inadequate. Wallowing in our own self-pity.  Let’s be honest there would be nothing to discuss if every hiccup in life was a good one. 


My husband had a rather difficult boss. It seems this boss simply looked for ways to make an already difficult job even more frustrating. It was not just my husband but all the employees belittling and encouraging backbiting among the employees.  There was nothing as a spouse I could do. I simply had to pray and encourage him through prayer.

Focus on the Good

Someone once said “find the silver lining in every cloud” it is true.  More often than not you really need to look for the silver lining. If you’re willing to spend a little time finding the silver lining. Your attitude says a lot about you as a person. Some times as in marriage one spouse needs to hold up the other one. Be the voice of positivity. Choosing a positive outlook makes it a lot easier to withstand the speed bumps and negative people in life. Even Psalms is filled with King David crying out to God to help him remember where his (our) sustaining power comes from. 

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