Children will be children

We have all been there in a waiting room and there is a kid acting out in some unbelievably obscene way and then the mother screams “If you keep acting like this you will not be allowed to go McDonalds today for lunch”. The child’s behavior does not change and if anything it escalates and you know the kid is going to McDonalds.  The nurse calls the family in and you are thankful they are gone and the room erupts with the other parents talking about how they would have disciplined that kid. The nightmare is worsened when it is your kid and you are at a loss how to deal with your child. The problem is exasperated by parents who feel their hands are tied knowing Child Protective Services has eyes everywhere. We all know discipline is the answer, but question is what is discipline and how should it be done? What is the point to discipline? Why do we need to discipline Kids?

What is Discipline
Discipline is defined as the practice or methods of teaching and enforcing acceptable patterns of behavior. A lot of people have a problem with the idea of forcing a type of behavior or action. Let me be clear there is no forcing in discipline. Discipline is no different then learning the ABC’s of behavior.  We teach our children how to deal with others when we discipline.

The Point
The desired outcome is to produce a respectful, responsible, and honest adult. My mother would often say Children are adults in training. Therefore learning to be an adult does not happen at age eighteen. A doctor does not get handed a scalpel and told to do his job, he has four years of being under the guidance of an experienced doctor.  In the same way children need to interact with adults with guidance.

How to Discipline
There is not any one way to discipline. Teaching a child is daily reminder of the expectations and rule you have in your home. Clear expectations and rules based off the ability and age of the child. There cannot be a “do as I say and not as I do” mentality in the home. Children learn by example therefore children and adults should live by the same rules. I often here parents say Kids will do what they do, I can’t stop them I can only give them tools to avoid the negative consequences. I say anyone can live down to a standard, give them a standard to live up to. I expect you to stay in school and do your best and I know your best is… I expect you to go to college and get a degree. I expect you to treat people…  I expect honesty…

The Reason to Discipline
There are Millions of people we share this world with, be considerate, and remember none of us are entitled to anything. There is a moral obligation to training and disciplining our children. There is a school of thought which states “Kids are born with an innate goodness with the power to choose good over Bad.” If this ideology were true then there would not be such a demand for books or other media to assist people in acquiring personal self discipline and restraint.

Authors Note
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Victoria Bell
July 18, 2016 at 5:33 pm

I know several people who “discipline” in a way that leaves their children more damaged than if they didn’t discipline their kids. There are several types of disciplinarians there are the light ones who don’t really discipline untill the kid gets so out of hand the parents “explode” then there are the just right ones who discipline all the time for the right things who stick to a way of behavior that they want and don’t deviate at all, then there are the harsh ones who do not allow for any child like behavior this type of disciplinarian is usually associated with parents who are Asian the top grades are the only accepted grades the you must stay in your room until you have mastered “this thing” the ones who believe children are better seen and not heard. If I were to discipline I would like to be the way my mom was when I was a kid I knew what I was going to get in trouble for. When she started having kids again I would watch as my sister got away with something that would have earned a sore ass when I was a kid.

    July 18, 2016 at 7:39 pm

    I hope I did not imply that any of the extremes you mentioned are acceptable way of parenting. I also hope I made it clear what is an expectable and preferable way of disciplining, so a child’s spirit will grow and flourish, and the child is able to find his voice in the world and be free to use it. Since you mention you mothers parenting style do you feel it has changed? do you feel it was for the better or did she become one of the other extreme parenting styles you mentioned or was it essentially the same with maybe a little more give and take to it attributed with maturity or knowledge?

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