I remember standing in the Walmart parking lot telling my husband I did not “need“ him but that I “wanted” him. We were fighting, which was standard operating for us when something went wrong. The car door was not shutting and we needed to get home. I could not understand why my statement would make him angrier and yet it did. Looking back I understand now. I had just told him he was no hero. And that he was not worth having around other then I liked him.
Let Him Be the Hero
I know I am probably going to get labeled sexist. I might even get told I’m diminishing the power of women. Yet here is a little inside information Proverbs 14:1 (NIV) says it like this: “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” My sister-in-law is great at making her husband feel like a hero. She finds little ways to let him know how he can be her hero. Timing is everything. I know if I ask my husband to do some task in the middle of his tv show I might get a repone that could lead to me feel like I am a bother to him. But if I request his assistance when he is available or at his leaser then the outcome for both of us is more desirable to both of us. Reward him and tell him thank you. It is no small wonder why great managers (I think of myself as a manager of the home) are often heard saying thank you to those who work for them paid or not.
Be His Lover
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.Hebrews 13:4 NIV
I was raised in a Christian home and the topic of sex was taboo. I do remember that I thought I did not want a husband who would fall on his knees and beg God for forgiveness after sex. Initially, I was a little reserved about sex when I first got married. So it was important for me to learn to be comfortable. And learn how to communicate in the bedroom physically. Speaking about sex is necessary to enjoy it for both partners. I think also willingly seeking out your husband is essential to his psyche. What man would not want the scene painted in Proverbs 7: 13 -18
She took hold of him and kissed him and with a brazen face she said: “Today I fulfilled my vows, and I have food from my fellowship offering at home. So I came out to meet you; I looked for you and have found you! I have covered my bed with colored linens from Egypt. I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon. Come, let’s drink deeply of love till morning; let’s enjoy ourselves with love!Proverbs 7: 13 -18 NIV
Be the mother of his children
Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him. Children born to a young man are like arrows in a warrior’s hands. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. …Psalm 127:4 (NLT)
Yes really, it is a way of respecting your husband by having kids with him. This does by no means is meant to say that only women who have children are more blessed. Or is better at loving their husbands. However, I think it is one of those good, better, best, things in life. I do know that having had children I understand my Lord’s character better.
Children’s children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children.Proverbs 17:6 NIV
Reflect His success
She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.Proverbs 31:12 NIV
In other words, dress the part. Look good for him and make him look good. I know this one is going to get me some hate mail as well. Yes men like a good looking woman on their arm so, look good for him. I am by no means stating you should be all beauty and no brains quite the opposite Proverbs 31 talks about the wife being the reason behind her husband’s success. In the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding the mom says that the wife is the neck that turns the head.
She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.Proverbs 31:22-25 NIV
Resources and further Readings
- Marriage Assessment – By Focus on the family and totally free
- 7 Steps to Fixing your Marriage – By Mort Fertel at Marriage Fitness
- 5 Tips to End Your Marital Crisis and Pain – By Dr. Bob Huizenga
- Keep the Fire Going in The Relationship
- Is Parenting Having a negative Effect on your marriage
- Do you have the Attitude of Gratitude in Your Marriage
- 3 Way To Respect Your Spouse