Marriage

Is Anger From The Dark Side

Husband Comes in late he looks frustrated or angry. And the wife doesn’t know but she could not care either. She is angry. He failed to call and his phone was off. She is certain he was up to no good. Not that he has but there is a first time for everything. 2 hours and no word from him until he walks in. “What have been doing? Where have you been?” The accusations fly. He gets angry and walks out the door.    Have you been here? We will get back to this later…

Most of us have heard of road rage.  But the road and Marriage is not the only place anger takes place. There have been several incidents in of people who have been so angry at work they have taken a gun to work and killed several employees. It makes you kinda scared to even want to work out in the public. I remember there was a postal worker who just went berserk kinda where the whole “don’t go postal” came from. Of course, this is just some of the symptoms of anger. Money is another stimulant for anger, especially among married couples.

Angry

Righteous indignation

The definition of anger is a strong feeling of annoyance. Displeasure, or hostility. However when it comes to being angry for the right reasons these feelings are not a hindrance. According to Got Questions, there are Two Greek words in the New Testament translated as “anger.” One means “passion, energy” and the other means “agitated, boiling.”  The Passion anger is not sinning while being angry. I believe God gives this anger to enable us to fight his battles for him giving us strength to do his bidding.  

Medical Consequences  of anger

According to one web site I looked at while preparing to for this article it stated that 8% of adolescence have anger issues to me that seems like a lot. What happened when you’re angry according to Psychology today anger releases the stress hormone and that can destroy neurons in areas of the brain associated with judgment and short term memory. Anger can weaken the immune system. This would be the agitated boiling anger we are warned about in the bible.  I heard one paster say something akin to when the bible mentions something at least once then you need to listen but if it is mentioned twice then you need to head it and if it is 3 times then don’t falter to put it into action.

What the Bible says

The bible also tells us in Ephesians 4:26 not to let the sun go down on our anger and in Proverbs 19:11 A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense. Proverbs is probably one of my favorite books in the bible. It’s like a condensed source of wisdom. I could overwhelm you with the sheer amount of verses that talk about not letting anger get the best of you. Of course, there are the verses that warn you to avoid people who are quick to anger. Remember we are all under construction therefore so is the family.

Don’t Get Angry

Most Christians buy into the whole don’t get angry. Now As we have mentioned earlier there is nothing wrong with anger if it is to do God’s will. Now in the opening story angry played a role. It was not a God-given anger and quickly became destructive. In Psalm 4:4 Be angry, yet do not sin; on your bed, search your heart and be still… Don’t let anger eat at you and burn inside you dwelling on it. This is where the problem lies often. It would do the Couple in the story no good to dwell on their anger for one dwelling on anger feeds it. And I think that is what It means in Ephesians about not letting the sun go down and your anger.

How To Pacify Anger

  1. Assume the best-  Presume There is a good reason your spouse is late, didn’t call, or upset. As in the opening story. Had the wife assumed the best of her husband. She would have found out her husband’s phone was dead and he had gotten a flat tire.
  2. Stay Calm – Remember Ecclesiastes 7:9 Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools. I know it is hard to stay calm when you may feel attacked. Like the husband in the story. He felt attacked and with good reason however by staying calm you do the next step
  3. Gentle Answer- Proverbs 15:1 says A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. So remember answer nicely even when you feel attacked or accused of some imagined wrong.
  4. Speak with Love – Ephesians 4:15 (NIV)  Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.

God Will Take Care Of The Wrongdoer

Choose to let it go and let God take care of it. As it says in Proverbs 23:11 for their (the righteous) Defender is strong; he will take up their case against you. In other words Christians, you have someone else who will fight your battles for you. But he will not take up your case if you don’t choose to give it to the lord as it says in 1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Romans 12:19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.     1 John 2:9 Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates a brother or sister (in Christ) is still in the darkness.

Further Action

The article on apologizing to your spouse is a good one to read if you find you are having troubles with anger or even communication with your spouse. If you liked the article please click the share buttons below.  Please share your thought questions on the subject by also making a comment below. I always love to hear from you.

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