In the spirit of “life is messy” I thought would share a personal story. This story will have multiple parts to it, but as it stands I only have two so far. A story of loss and found and new beginnings. And through it all the story has so many life lessons. I would sound preachy if I pointed them all out. Without further ado our dna story.
On Easter my mother-in-law asked me how accurate is DNA testing I replied that I thought it was pretty accurate. I thought it was kinda impossible to have a fake result because of the standards the companies are held to as well as the chance of being sewed if they messed it up. Why do ask i asked. Again she responded how accurate are those tests, I just need to know? I again started to restart my previous response when my husband (Smitty) responds they are extremely accurate. Why mom? She looks at my Father-in-law (Mr. Sir) and asks if she can show us? By this point my husband and I are in some sort of state of shock I think. Honestly we don’t know.
4 weeks prior my in-laws decided to buy an ancestry DNA test and sent it in. They had just gotten the test and had barely had time to even go through the results. And Approximately 3 months earlier my husband Smitty had taken a DNA test to find his biological father. They all had chosen to take the DNA test for various reason but honestly it’s a bit catchy to see all the interesting things that you learn from these tests.
My mother-in-law handed me an envelope with a single sheet of paper in it. On the letter is handwritten note i need to try to decipher. I am not sure if I held my breath or not but i remember getting about 3 lines into the letter and I burst into laughter and crying in joy and surprise. My husband Smitty had been asking me what was going on from the other side of the kitchen. I remember hearing his almost frantic question again as I hand Smitty the letter. “Dear Sir I have recently determined through a dna match and other genealogy information that you are my biological father.”
It was Easter we were at my inlaws to have Easter dinner. Honestly, my husband Smitty and I have been on a “spent as much time with his adopted dad as possible because we don’t know how much time he has left” for the past year his Adopted Father has been declining health and we have gotten some not so promising news of his health. Cancer and heart problems. We have made the effort to have the holidays with my in-laws even though my family lives in the same town.
I can’t concentrate on the task of making dinner. And really it is a bit of a blur for the rest of the evening. I remember my husband calling me to look at something on the computer multiple times. Over the course of the and during dinner prep. My father-in-law is certain it is a scam and somehow his dna was screwed up. The lively conversation during dinner was dna doesn’t lie and a lot of OMG. and a lot of how do we get a hold of him since the phone number is not right. And a lot of what should we tell him on our first contact. A lot of “Smitty are you prepared for what DNA could bring your way?” My thoughts turn to proverbs 5 15- 20 specifically verse 17 Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers.
My husband and I could not in our hearts not let this man know we received the letter. My father-in-law fearing it was a scam was unwilling to answer the man. So my husband and I located his email address and wrote a simple note saying we wanted to open communication. There were two reasons we did this one we wanted to give this man the same courtesy we hope to receive when we finally locate my husbands biological father. And because we did not want this man to keep wondering who his dad was.
First Phone Call
One week after several emails and text between my husband and Mr. Jones we do the first of several weekly calls. This falls on my shoulders since I am the designated IT person for my in-laws and my immediate family. This requires more than just turning on a computer. This means I need to verify if my in-laws computer has all its updates and maintenance done recently. Finding a comfortable place for Mr. Sir to sit and have a conversation. And setting up the computer and downloading application for this call. This also requires me to be readily available should any glitches happen. And they do.
Part 2 will be coming soon. If you want to know more go to Ancestry to learn more and get your DNA kit.