Money The Killer of Marriage
Since I have been married 13 years I know my husband and I have had a few disagreements about money. Some were rather unpleasant. And with each kid the issues just became more evident. Often with one feeling they are better suited to handle the money better than the other. Marriage and money are kinda like two volatile substances mix the two and the whole thing can blow up in your face. Money issues are also responsible for 22% of all divorces, making it the third leading cause, according to the Institute for Divorce Financial Analysis.
Rescorses
- Forbes – www.forbes.com – considered the go-to source for money and business hass and article 10-ways-to-prevent-money-from-ruining-your-marriage. Certainly a great read.
- Focus on the Family- www.focusonthefamily.com – Known for years as the resource for Marriage and family their article Money Management in Marriage is definitely a great starting point to getting thing stratened out financially
- Dave Ramsey – the financial guru in all things financial. The article The Truth About Money and Relationships is probably one of the best things to read if you are experiencing financial discourse.
- Savvi Financial – savvifi.com – This web site is not one I have actually used however it has been mentioned a good source for outside help for couples wanting a 3 party to help
Starting Pointers
- Eliminate Debt – “…the borrower is a slave to the lender.” Proverbs 22:7. It seem when there is debt you spent more time doing something you don’t want (work) to get rid of it rather doing something you love. There are some great tools to help you get started at DaveRamsey.com.
- Budget meeting – Both of you should be well aware of where and how the money is being spent. One spouse should not be the decider of how the money is spent. Don’t allow who brings in more income to have more say happen. Budget apps are available on most smart devices. Mint is one of those. Takisha Artis author of TAKISHA’S THEORY suggest Having a money meeting, this is where you review what you need to purchase the next week with intention.
- Don’t Hiding Spending– This is one problem that must be avoided. According to Dave ramsey 1 out of 3 married couples have hid spending from their spouse. There is a school of thought that says having separate bank accounts is a great way to avoid financial issues.For more on why not to have separate bank accounts, read Ashley Willis article on the Reasons Why a Married Couple Shouldn’t Have Separate Bank Accounts.
- Financial Desires– Both parties need to be fully aware of how each other feelings about money and financial Desires. One of you may wish to have savings fund or you may want to have stocks and bonds. Find ways to support each other in these desires. Eileen Adamson from YOUR MONEY SORTED says Poor management of money is usually the problem and thinking we have to have the latest and newest gadgets. One of the things I have always done is ask myself if I can live without it.
- Kids – Don’t let the kids demand items at the store. Be sure to make it a clear rule, there will be no toys bought when we go to the store. This will help avoid an unnecessary burden on the finances.
- Financial Learning– Money Harmony offers a free quiz that determines whether you’re a hoarder, spender, money monk, avoider, or amasser. Taking these tests can help in spurring communication about financial health.
Pinching pennies – don’t be ashamed if you need to pinch pennies.
Closing
Now i’m not a financial blogger and I have no intention of being one. But I can tell you that as long as your spouse and you have difficulty handling money, it is going to be causing stress in your relationship. You need to get a clear picture of how each of you feel money should be handled. My husband has been the sole income provider to the household and at times we had to make do with just what was the minimum wage on more then a few times in our marriage.I remember a few times taking my moms travel soaps she would give me and pouring all the little bottles of shampoo in to one big bottle so we could have shampoo. And Velveeta cheese boxes make for great silverware holders/ dividers.